Yikwapnel is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, kind duck.

Yikwapnel created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikwapnel, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yikwapnel, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Yikwapnel's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Yikwapnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to monkeys while wearing green boots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about fire.