Tonmangedjop is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, fussy mink.

Tonmangedjop created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonmangedjop, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tonmangedjop, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tonmangedjop's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tonmangedjop's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always obey Tonmangedjop's priests.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not chop down trees.