Bunzognurt is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, awesome narwhal.

Bunzognurt created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bunzognurt, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bunzognurt, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bunzognurt's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Bunzognurt's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry seals.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not speak about bread.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Always take life seriously.