Wiphinvigminbitxen is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, fast manatee.

Wiphinvigminbitxen created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wiphinvigminbitxen, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wiphinvigminbitxen, he will jump up and down on your head.

Wiphinvigminbitxen's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Wiphinvigminbitxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near mice while wearing indigo coats and balancing four silicon spheres on your hands.

3. Wiphinvigminbitxen loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not take Wiphinvigminbitxen's name in vain.

5. You must love Wiphinvigminbitxen.