Lopyarpkim is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omnipotent jackal.

Lopyarpkim created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopyarpkim, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lopyarpkim, it will boil you in a big pot.

Lopyarpkim's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Lopyarpkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.