Wapkadpop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unsympathetic gerbil.

Wapkadpop created Europe two years ago.

If you believe in Wapkadpop, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wapkadpop, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Wapkadpop's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Wapkadpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always treat mites with great respect.

5. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.