Himyakspag is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthoughtful alligator.

Himyakspag created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Himyakspag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Himyakspag, he will think nothing of it.

Himyakspag's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Himyakspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not kill pigs.

3. Never mention voles.

4. Do not speak about beans.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.