Midnanpon is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, awe-inspiring bee.

Midnanpon created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Midnanpon, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Midnanpon, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Midnanpon's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Midnanpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Retreat if eight horses approach from the west.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near shrews while wearing mauve jumpers and balancing five titanium spheres on your head.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.