Bumgigzog Flowjopflig is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, calm porpoise.

Bumgigzog Flowjopflig created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumgigzog Flowjopflig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bumgigzog Flowjopflig, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bumgigzog Flowjopflig's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bumgigzog Flowjopflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt doves.

2. You must pray to Bumgigzog Flowjopflig three times a day.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never bounce in the presence of porpoises.

5. Never feed lentils to badgers while wearing rings.