Mutzogbif is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, capable meerkat.

Mutzogbif created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Mutzogbif, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mutzogbif, he will destroy your home solar system.

Mutzogbif's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Mutzogbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never sing in the presence of nematodes.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

5. Never play with disobedient children.