Kipfonsog is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, slow dragon.

Kipfonsog created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kipfonsog, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kipfonsog, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kipfonsog's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Kipfonsog's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Retreat if five snails approach from the east.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never feed lots of tomatoes to ducks while wearing turquoise skirts.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.