Quartsiszan is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, narcissistic snake.

Quartsiszan created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartsiszan, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quartsiszan, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Quartsiszan's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Quartsiszan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never think about thermodynamics.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. You must love Quartsiszan.