Cum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, caring dingo.

Cum created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cum, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cum, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Cum's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Cum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Do not shave your arms.