Kipbabquam Lopnilquataf Geprulwik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, loving chinchilla.

Kipbabquam Lopnilquataf Geprulwik created gold five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipbabquam Lopnilquataf Geprulwik, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kipbabquam Lopnilquataf Geprulwik, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Kipbabquam Lopnilquataf Geprulwik's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Kipbabquam Lopnilquataf Geprulwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Feed all hungry turtles.

5. Kipbabquam Lopnilquataf Geprulwik loves sheep, so they must be respected.