Besskonfad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, sage hamster.

Besskonfad created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Besskonfad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Besskonfad, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Besskonfad's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Besskonfad's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Besskonfad.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. You must love Besskonfad.

5. Do not speak about turnips.