Begmanham is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, happy toad.

Begmanham created a down quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begmanham, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Begmanham, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Begmanham's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Begmanham's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention monkeys.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. Never go into brown rooms.