Park is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, generous wolf.

Park created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Park, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Park, he will turn you into a worm.

Park's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Park's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. You must love Park.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Erect eight lead sculptures of Park on top of important buildings.