Xintafjip is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, emotional seal.

Xintafjip created energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xintafjip, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xintafjip, she will turn you into a puffin.

Xintafjip's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Xintafjip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick goats.

2. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

3. Put Xintafjip first in all things.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.