Nignuttstaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonourable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Nignuttstaf created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nignuttstaf, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nignuttstaf, it will not care.

Nignuttstaf's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Nignuttstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bread to mice while wearing blue stockings.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Always pray immersed in water.