Pomnanlam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, charitable aardvark.

Pomnanlam created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomnanlam, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pomnanlam, she will manifest in front of you.

Pomnanlam's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Pomnanlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Never feed lots of cherries to dogs while wearing violet scarves.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.