Niggetkem is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unthinking bat.

Niggetkem created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Niggetkem, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Niggetkem, he will turn you into a goat.

Niggetkem's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Niggetkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near squirrels while wearing orange shorts.

2. You must love Niggetkem.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Niggetkem must be the most important thing in your life.