Weepidtail is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, loving crow.

Weepidtail created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Weepidtail, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Weepidtail, she will turn you into a goat.

Weepidtail's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Weepidtail's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near rats while wearing cyan shorts.

5. Do not take Weepidtail's name in vain.