Bafbarnfed is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awe-inspiring raccoon.

Bafbarnfed created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bafbarnfed, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bafbarnfed, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bafbarnfed's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bafbarnfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Hide from orange eagles for they are unholy.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never write about enzymes.

5. Never think about planets.