Gumbossgemget Sidvennak is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, generous tortoise.

Gumbossgemget Sidvennak created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumbossgemget Sidvennak, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gumbossgemget Sidvennak, it will have a low opinion of you.

Gumbossgemget Sidvennak's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gumbossgemget Sidvennak's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never feed melons to horses while wearing kilts.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Hide if nine hamsters approach from the west.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.