Xemdapcim is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ill-tempered badger.

Xemdapcim created a photon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemdapcim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Xemdapcim, he will turn you into a tree.

Xemdapcim's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Xemdapcim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tortoises.

2. Never think about enzymes.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always wear indigo.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.