Gepgatfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, conceited elephant.

Gepgatfeb created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepgatfeb, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gepgatfeb, he will be very unhappy.

Gepgatfeb's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gepgatfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never feed grapes to rats while wearing kilts.

3. Gepgatfeb must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not cook food in pots.