Mapbemfun is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, prudent walrus.

Mapbemfun created the planet Venus seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapbemfun, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Mapbemfun, it will torture you forever.

Mapbemfun's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Mapbemfun's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured badgers.

2. Never feed rice to shrews while wearing pink tights.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mapbemfun.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near swans while wearing brown hats and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your hands.