Quimpopkemvabbundan is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awesome crocodile.

Quimpopkemvabbundan created a strange quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimpopkemvabbundan, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quimpopkemvabbundan, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Quimpopkemvabbundan's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Quimpopkemvabbundan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Quimpopkemvabbundan loves swans, so they must be respected.

5. Never mention ants.