Negpakhas Catfutham Labcengan is a god.

He takes the form of a large, fast horse.

Negpakhas Catfutham Labcengan created the Virgo Supercluster nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Negpakhas Catfutham Labcengan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Negpakhas Catfutham Labcengan, he will turn you into a worm.

Negpakhas Catfutham Labcengan's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Negpakhas Catfutham Labcengan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help goats in need.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Negpakhas Catfutham Labcengan.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never wear stockings.