Bedbogponzag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, weak cow.

Bedbogponzag created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedbogponzag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bedbogponzag, she will turn you into a snail.

Bedbogponzag's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bedbogponzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not kill horses.

5. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.