Ditnilsog is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, omnipotent squid.

Ditnilsog created gold four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditnilsog, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ditnilsog, he will be very unhappy.

Ditnilsog's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Ditnilsog's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about goats.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.