Latwantetti is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, awesome whale.

Latwantetti created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Latwantetti, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Latwantetti, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Latwantetti's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Latwantetti's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never feed lots of lentils to doves while wearing blue dresses.

3. Run away from violet frogs, for they are unholy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Latwantetti must be the most important thing in your life.