Sanvilbeg is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful otter.

Sanvilbeg created a quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sanvilbeg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sanvilbeg, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Sanvilbeg's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Sanvilbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near birds while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing six gold spheres on your legs.

2. Do not eat nuts.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

5. Never talk about fire.