Tailfemcim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, loving rhinoceros.

Tailfemcim created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailfemcim, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tailfemcim, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tailfemcim's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tailfemcim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tailfemcim.