Tigbuskem is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, moody fish.

Tigbuskem created silver eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigbuskem, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tigbuskem, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tigbuskem's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Tigbuskem's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Tigbuskem must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never leap in the presence of tapirs.

4. Do not eat lentils.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.