Daphigfon is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unselfish walrus.

Daphigfon created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Daphigfon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Daphigfon, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Daphigfon's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Daphigfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Run away from violet mites, for they are unholy.

3. Never feed cucumbers to seals while wearing gray rings.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always look after injured eagles.