Arpyakont is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, fast mole.

Arpyakont created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpyakont, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Arpyakont, he will refuse to believe in you.

Arpyakont's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Arpyakont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Arpyakont's name in vain.

2. Never think ill of sick snakes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.