Pincuthug is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, merciful meerkat.

Pincuthug created the planet Mars four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pincuthug, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pincuthug, he will turn you into a rock.

Pincuthug's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Pincuthug's Holy Commandments

1. Pincuthug loves ants, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Hide from green mice for they are unholy.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.