Karteentim is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, generous goose.

Karteentim created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Karteentim, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Karteentim, he will turn you into a snail.

Karteentim's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Karteentim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.