Cumcethug is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, cheerful otter.

Cumcethug created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumcethug, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cumcethug, he will turn you into a sheep.

Cumcethug's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cumcethug's Holy Commandments

1. Cumcethug loves mites, so they must be honoured.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Do not hurt grasshopers.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Cumcethug in the centre of the settlement.