Bessnulbog Bossgemtif is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, happy cow.

Bessnulbog Bossgemtif created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Bessnulbog Bossgemtif, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bessnulbog Bossgemtif, it will destroy your favourite star.

Bessnulbog Bossgemtif's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Bessnulbog Bossgemtif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Erect seven tin sculptures of Bessnulbog Bossgemtif on top of important buildings.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Run away if nine horses approach from the south.

5. Always help doves.