Kikmatlin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, contented clam.

Kikmatlin created the Sombrero Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikmatlin, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kikmatlin, she will turn you into a frog.

Kikmatlin's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Kikmatlin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Run away from cyan manatees, for they are unholy.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Feed all hungry squirrels.