Larpbell is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying wren.

Larpbell created the Black Eye Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larpbell, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Larpbell, it will destroy your home solar system.

Larpbell's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Larpbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Never hurt dogs.

3. Retreat if four snails approach from the west.

4. Never wear white hats.

5. Always help badgers in need.