Gessbestyar Zenmatjan Fonwadlib is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, temperamental owl.

Gessbestyar Zenmatjan Fonwadlib created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessbestyar Zenmatjan Fonwadlib, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gessbestyar Zenmatjan Fonwadlib, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gessbestyar Zenmatjan Fonwadlib's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Gessbestyar Zenmatjan Fonwadlib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nematodes.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never mention tortoises.