Jambogquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, astonishing donkey.

Jambogquaf created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Jambogquaf, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jambogquaf, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jambogquaf's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Jambogquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into cyan rooms.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never paint your head gray.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never wear kilts.