Fatlapcet Tanlitwotstikbetfublen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, loving coyote.

Fatlapcet Tanlitwotstikbetfublen created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatlapcet Tanlitwotstikbetfublen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fatlapcet Tanlitwotstikbetfublen, he will be very unhappy.

Fatlapcet Tanlitwotstikbetfublen's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fatlapcet Tanlitwotstikbetfublen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to grasshopers while wearing jumpers.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never laugh near snakes.