Sandvintad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fast spider.

Sandvintad created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandvintad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sandvintad, he will jump up and down on your head.

Sandvintad's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Sandvintad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not wear nickel on your body.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near swans while wearing black corsets.

5. Never wear trousers.