Vonkflanmif is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, resourceful monkey.

Vonkflanmif created the Virgo Supercluster two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkflanmif, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vonkflanmif, he will turn you into a rock.

Vonkflanmif's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Vonkflanmif's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not eat gooseberries.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never wear brown shorts.

5. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.