Cedsandpad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sapient wyrm.

Cedsandpad created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cedsandpad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cedsandpad, he will not care.

Cedsandpad's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Cedsandpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near great tits while wearing gray kilts and balancing three lead spheres on your chest.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Cedsandpad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never feed lots of nuts to birds while wearing white trousers.

5. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Cedsandpad in the centre of the settlement.