Rilsagbast is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, compassionate porpoise.

Rilsagbast created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilsagbast, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Rilsagbast, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Rilsagbast's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Rilsagbast's Holy Commandments

1. Rilsagbast loves otters, so they must be honoured.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rilsagbast.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never look in ponds.
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